Ok so the title makes it sounder than it is, but I honestly am starting to dislike wedding season. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends. I go out of my way to spend time with friends and family as they are a priority to me. These days I find weddings to be gaudy, tiring, and a funnel to get expensive gifts. Don’t even get started on the need for wedding, and bridal showers. Why?
Let’s back track here for a moment. I am 28 years old. I work for myself, kind of. I am one of the lucky people who managed to remain friends with people I met in grade school. Although most of my mates are males, I do have a few really close female friends who have grown to a point where I think of them as sisters. That, however, is not the issue. The issue is that they are ALL getting married or having babies, or both. Side note: No, I am not bitter or jealous. I am genuinely happy for them, if any of them decide on a destination wedding, I’ll be the first one there.
As much as I love spending their big day with them, weddings are getting really expensive. I am invited to 6 weddings this year, and I am in 2 wedding parties. I was extremely honoured to be asked, but all I saw was dollar signs. I need to set up a separate bank account just for weddings.
Costs involved: These are best case scenario costs. Things always seem to add up.
- Clothes. I have a few dresses that I can wear, but since its mostly the same people at each wedding, I may have to get at least or two new dresses. I’m pretty sure I have shoes already.
- Travel. 2 of the weddings are out of town. I need to calculate gas money and hotel.
- Gift: Wedding gift, bridal shower gift, gifts for the stag and doe.
- Bridal Party costs: Bridesmaid dress and shoes (x2), bridal party weekend, and helping organize the shower etc.
My poor date get stuck with splitting some of the costs with me, too.
This is not a rant about weddings or about how I don’t like friends, but rather how expensive the instution has gotten. Can you imagine if you couldn’t afford to go? I have a few friends who are grad students and weddings are completely outside their budgets. They feel extremely guilty saying no because they don’t have $200-$300 to spend on a friends big day.
I have personally started to say no to wedding of people that I am not really close to. This puts me at odds with my family as in my culture people invite EVERYONE to their wedding. There is a certain cultural norm that suggests that you go to every wedding that you’re invited to and you, in turn, invite them to yours. Its a vicious circle of gift giving, and new over the top clothing. I have also had to say no to being in a wedding party too. The time and the costs associated with it is just too much.