The older I get the more I come to value different qualities in friends, potential mates, co-workers, etc. Intelligence is one of those qualities. Having spent the last 10 years in a corporate setting, I’ve across my fair share of highly intelligent people, and highly interesting people. The latter always made me question how they were employed in the first place.
The last 8 months have given me the pleasure of meeting all sorts of people. I’ve consulted with companies that were acquired by Google, had numerous lunches and dinners with VC’s and spent A LOT of time with programmers and developers. All in all, I spend the majority of my work day with smart people. And I learn a lot of random but interesting things from every single person. The majority of my contacts and clients are male, as I work in a male dominated field, so the fact that most of them are horrible at managing a budget perplexes me in a way that I can not fathom.
Because of this blog, I’ve been able to have conversations with friends about their finances. It’s a strange barrier, but once you get through the first few sentences, people (women) are more likely to start talking about their debt, their goals, budgets etc. I don’t claim to be perfect. I still splurge, make not-so smart decisions, and buy things that I shouldn’t. Most of my female friends are like, but ask them to do something outrageous expensive that the first words out of their mouths are ” I don’t have the budget”. Ask the same thing of my guy friends and they are on their way before I can finish my sentence.
The most shocking difference that I’ve found as a result of my interactions is that most males don not even have a budget. I know, shocking, right? If you’re a reader of personal finance blogs, you’ll notice that a good chunk of them are written by men. Turns out that those are the exception, and not the rule.
I do want to point out that I, obviously, have a rather small sample size as I could not have surveyed everyone on the planet.
Back to being a sapiosexual. Being smart with money, and knowing how to spend is sexy. It shows that one cares about their future, and that they have hopes, dreams, and goals. It also shows that you’re a grownup. My parents are both academics, I grew up around really intelligent people. Being intelligent or book smart does not necessarily mean that you have the ability to pay attention to your bank account, and make sure that you’re cheques don’t bounce, or your credit card isn’t declined.
My point in all this rambling is that being smart is sexy, and even if you’re a genius, being good with your hard earned dollar shows more intelligence than being able to explain organic chemistry. Women find that stuff attractive. They like knowing that you have common sense and a good head on your shoulders.
And ladies, be weary of anyone who can’t handle their finances. I’ve dated a few of those, and being bad with money that’s a tip of the iceberg.
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There is something about a financially confident man. I’m not talking about a guy who makes millions per say, but one that feels confident that he knows what he wants and how to handle what he does have!
Budget & the Beach recently posted..2013: Living in the Moment
Exactly. Knowing what you have and managing it correctly is the sexiest thing
I realize that that comment comes across dirty.
I found the richer and more successful I became, the sexier I was to women. I am married (44 years) so I do not have firsthand feedback.
krantcents recently posted..My 2013 New Year’s Resolutions
Was it because they would find out what you did for a living? There are certain men that handle themselves really well.
Ok, so I ashamedly had to look up what sapiosexual meant.
Now that I know, great post! It always amazes me to see male friends or family members that could give a flip about their finances. It’s part of being a man and really part of being an adult in my own opinion. I am no expert by any means, but I’d much rather go through life learning and growing in many things (especially money) as opposed to just sliding through it.
John S @ Frugal Rules recently posted..Why I Don’t Believe in New Year’s Resolutions
Exactly. I wonder if its because people look at taking care of finances a “woman’s” job?
For males it just depends on how frequent they spend their money; for ones that spend a lot they keep a budget on them because they won’t remember where their money has gone.
Caesar F recently posted..How eTitle Loan Saved Christmas
I don’t budget! I think budgeting is most useful if your income and expenses are close to one another. If your expenses are very low relative to your income, there’s not much point. So long as I’m hitting certain savings goals, I really don’t care where the rest of my money goes (hint: mostly beer and travel).
Kyle recently posted..My Goals For 2013
As someone who’s actively active in the dating world, I see this first hand with women who have no idea about money – they find you sexy because you write about money, talk money, and still manage to look good while at it. On the flip side, the women that I’ve encountered who are stable with their money (loose term) are afraid to talk about it and look at you as a threat because you are good with your money or know how to budget effectively.
One thing I’ve found out that the more secure you are with $$, the more women dig ya…in more ways than one! The car, home, blog, writing, and everything else is sexy – no matter how dull I may feel that it is.
Also I had to look up what sapiosexual meant. Something new I learned.
Eddie recently posted..Lower Your Wireless Bill By Cutting Your Monthly Data Usage
Interesting. I’ve had the opposite experience.
I agree – there’s something about a guy who is confident in his ability to manage his finances. It’s not about how much he owns, has, or brings in – it’s the knowledge that your (potential) future together won’t be jeopardized because he can’t keep his… wallet in his pants.
Nice work!
Lisa @ Thriftabilityl recently posted..Positively 2013: Caine’s Arcade
Exactly. I’m ok with a guy saying that he’s watching what he spends. That shows responsibility.
Men who are good with money are totally sexy. Bf is a great budgeter if you know what I mean
In all seriousness, I’ve dated a couple men who were financial disasters. It was a total turnoff. Managing money in a reasonable way says a lot about a person’s character (to me at least). If you blow all your money each month, borrow irresponsibly with no idea of how you’re going to pay it back, and buy extravagant things you don’t need and can’t afford, I’m not interested.
KK@Student Debt Survivor recently posted..Avoid Student Loans Like the Plague
Best reply ever- “Bf is a great budgeter if you know what I mean “
Firstly, to all the women who think that men who are good with money are sexy – Where were you when I was 18-21? The only time women noticed me was when I hit the gym and buffed up.
Knowing how to handle your finances is something that everyone should be able to do, regardless of sex.
I work in the Electrical Engineering / IT space for critical national infrastructure and I also get to associate with many intellectual people (also mostly male). Many of these bright sparks are excellent at what they do, but hopeless when it comes to managing their money.
I always bring this back to school. Many of the basic life lessons a taught there (Reading, writing, spelling, music, math) but money management is this tiny little subject inside of math as a whole. To me, considering how ingrained money is in our society, I cannot see how this isn’t a subject on its own. People just aren’t learning basic money management skills and they are ending up with enormous amounts of debt because of it.
Great post!
Glen @ Monster Piggy Bank recently posted..MPB – Pool Room Posts #11
I completely agree. But I also feel like being careful with money is looked at as a feminine trait at time.
Men who can’t handle their finances are a total turn off, especially if they aren’t even aware of it. I have let go of a few friendships as well of people who could never go out because they were broke all the time but made more than me and had no idea where money was going. They wouldn’t do frugal activities either so you had to meet just after they got paid and spend a lot.
I feel the same way. Sometimes I have conversations with friends about money, too. I feel like we need to.
An intelligent man who is great at budgeting is super sexy!
Call Me What You Want Even Cheap recently posted..Bye Bye 2012!
Heck yeah.
I’m with Glen….where were the women who found financially responsible dudes sexy when I was 18-22?
AverageJoe recently posted..Saturday! Let’s Play Money
Ha!
My husband wasn’t good or bad with money when we first met – he really didn’t *know* much about it in the first place, but he was eager to learn. Today, we’re pretty much on the same page, although he doesn’t always like to admit it to his male friends (who have no budgeting/money skills whatsoever!).
Elizabeth @ Broke Professionals recently posted..Post Holiday Blues
The fact that he was willing to learn is also awesome. Most aren’t even that.
Marissa, I agree that a guy “watching what he spends” [literally] shows responsibility. It also shows that he may be watching out for bills worth 100 times face value, http://bit.ly/rATHYU which is smart!
richard@moneygraffiti.com recently posted..Is It Really Illegal to Write on Money? Ask Ben, of Ben & Jerry’s!
From my perspective, handling money and budgeting is not sex specific. There are men and women who do it well and men and women who suck at it.
Marie at FamilyMoneyValues recently posted..Becoming a Family of Wealth
I love, love, love this post. I couldn’t agree more. I love ‘budget’ is now apart of my husbands regular vocabulary. Great post
I can honestly say (as a man) that I do not budget. It just isn’t an option for me as my employment income is too sporadic and my investing activities have taught me, why put money into a savings account when it’s losing ground to inflation when I can buy a stock, or etf position that’s doing far better?
I’ve managed for 15+ years now without budgeting. I do have some debt, but I’m at a point now with my investing that I could wipe out my entire debt if I sold off some holdings.
But again I have to ask, if I can borrow for less than I can make then why on earth would I ever pay it off? It would COST me money to pay it off.
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